A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
