I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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