people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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