she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
