Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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