Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
