i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
