Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
