Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
