She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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