Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
