I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
