Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
