thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
