Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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