Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
