She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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