i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
