can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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