We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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