Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
