this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
