And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
