What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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