The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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