Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
