I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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