i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
