I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm at about main and main street
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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