guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
