How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
