the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Terrible idea I love it
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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