i don't plan on having that self control this summer
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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