I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
