took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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