lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
