Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
