nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
