Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
