She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
