all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
