I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
