Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
