Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
