I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
