Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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