Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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