i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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