i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
