she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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