I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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